"Me is a disease" - Naval Ravikant

Pictured: Coaching kids on the spectrum at curling practice

Author

Amanjot Saral
May 06, 2025

Finding Happiness Beyond Self-Obsession

Self-obsession is a root cause of unhappiness. I can pinpoint the times when I was the unhappiest as periods when I fixated on my own concerns. When you redirect that energy outward - towards a mission or loving something beyond yourself - you break free from spiralling thoughts aka ANTS (automatic negative thoughts).

When I was pursuing soccer, creating YouTube videos, immersed in extracurriculars, or building my side hustle, I found purpose. This sense of purpose eliminated comparisons, fostered deeper connections, and stopped me from imagining where I “should be.” Instead, it allowed me to be grateful for what was actually on my plate.

This doesn’t mean you should overwhelm yourself with volunteer work or community service just to stay busy or to have no time for yourself to think, no! Simply piling activities onto your schedule will not address the fundamental issue. What matters, as Naval Ravikant suggests, is having a higher purpose.

We live in a modern society that tells us “don’t live to work.” Yet your job can be a vehicle through which you provide value. Dr. Daniel G. Amen notes that happiness and brain health improve when you’re learning in your job. This is just one piece of the puzzle - finding meaning beyond yourself is the key to genuine contentment.

A Personal Perspective

A friend of mine told me a story that stuck. While she was unemployed, she volunteered at a soup kitchen. That experience became a profound reality check on gratitude for her and all of us who heard her story. Some of the people who walked through those doors faced struggles you’d never imagine. Often, volunteers were the only person they would speak to that day, due to the isolation their situations created.

Happiness isn't a complex equation we need to crack. For me, it has taken on new meaning. It no longer solely means surfing or palm trees as it once did. It's about being accountable when someone needs you—when a younger person calls for advice navigating university, and showing up brings visible relief. It's answering a last-minute call to help count ballots (3 hours of standing in platform boots LOL), its coaching your sister’s sports team, not expecting thanks but simply giving from your cup because you have the capacity, resources, and time.

For the longest time, I obsessed over making my career follow a specific path. I pushed against invisible forces, trying to mold it into something particular I thought would make me happy. A mentor told me that clarity would come when I surrendered—that the cards would show themselves. She is right.

It's strange how this works. I try to avoid saying "my work/job makes me happy" or "where I work instills confidence." The fact is, my career looks very different from a year ago (I've had three jobs in twelve months). It's not as glamorous as before, but my current work has meaningful impact and, more importantly, I'm learning about law and technology. It's funny how when you direct your energy toward something that matters, it amplifies.