Do the Hard and Uncomfortable Things

I wish I was lying about the number of coffee chats it took to find a job in the current state of the economy. An insane number to contemplate. But I guess when you give an unfortunate scenario to an athlete who's used to getting knocked down, they'll keep knocking on doors and getting back up. Even if that means crying your eyes out in between sessions, even when you're sore and don't know if you're putting yourself through rigorous training for nothing.

I went from a job I wasn't enjoying straight into unemployment. What I learned was that desperation can be heard through your energy.

Sure, there were great coffee chats and bad ones. A few actually led to doors opening (yes, one opened the door to the job I'm currently in!). Mission accomplished, but what I learned in these last 6+ months—although incredibly uncomfortable and very painful emotionally and mentally—turned out to be growing pains. The end result? Invaluable.

Lessons Learned

Learning to listen to people is the most invaluable skill. Yes, knowing how to talk, what to say, and being personable is important. But remember how you invest in these 30-minute chats can lead to incremental wins later on. Whether you learn something new, someone sparks an idea you hadn't considered (like a SoHo House Membership), or it leads to another person in your network.

After the initial desperation of "I NEED to find a job through one of these" settled, the "screw it" attitude finally kicked in. Letting go of outcomes and detaching. I was on the verge of giving up but still giving it my best—preparing for each chat and being very attentive during them. I started going into these with the attitude of "let me learn something from each of these." Who knows what it will amount to? If not something today, maybe something in the future, or I'll learn about a new area of law, business, or economics.

Even the bad ones had value. If I had nothing substantive to take away, there was always something interesting (very few people have a linear career). And if all else failed, I learned what kind of traits I want to stay away from as I get older. Being self-aware of good habits was also a pro.

The Bigger Picture

Doing these coffee chats almost felt like watching trailers to a bunch of movies (people's career paths/lives) that I got to inquire about in 30 minutes.

I'll admit, in the moment—I thought I was wasting my time. But ultimately, learning the skill of how to talk to people, learning something meaningful, and engaging in business/networking conversations where you can take something away while removing the desperation of "I want this to amount to a job" takes the pressure off. Going in with the attitude of I want this to be a great conversation or I want to make a new friend I can reach out to in the future.

The end result? Now, I've built an incredible network and support system.

Sometimes the hardest journeys lead to the most valuable destinations.